Lisa's long take

Well, I'm finally weighing in and I'm not sure how much time I'll take, but with so many episodes under our belts, this may take a while. Or maybe not. As in many years past, the cream rose to the top fairly early and none of us has been too far off in our predictions and prejudices. Our "like minds" entertain me. Is there another family on the planet that can have such "heated agreements" on anything or anyone? Loved ALL the posts. Do more!!

So here goes - I love Jake. I'm with Ana - I like Jake the Bachelor sooo much more than Jake the Contestant, Jake the Snitch, Jake the "Perfect" loser. After the Bachelorette, I didn't think I could watch a whole season of him. But, he won me over pretty quickly with his list of priorities - God, family, and friends - was it?, "in that order". He's getting even better and better each week. Getting rid of so many so fast and even doing it with a tear in his eye? The guy's good. To top it all off - he finally did reveal a flaw! Jillian - where are you? He keeps "rose-ing" VIENNA!!! I just have one question - which producer is she related to? The only thing that could make her any worse is if she wore a tiara all the time (I could swear those girls are twins).

Anyway, given the rather boring personalities of the remaining girls, if Vienna weren't there, it would be a snooze-fest. Even Ali doesn't have much to say unless it's about Ms. V. Perhaps in a coming "tell all" Jake will reveal his "very specific reasons" for keeping her and "wanting" her to stay. I can think of a few things that would make ME want to keep her and they all have a $ sign in front of them.

Okay - forget her. I am coming out in full favor of Gia. She is my favorite and has been since that one bimbo was eliminated for cheating with staffers. Her first one-on-one sealed the deal - nerd in high school, kids BEFORE 30, adopting Chinese girls and owning a pig, and being willing to leave NYC for Texas? The fact that she almost always has sleeves in her loose-fitting clothes (albeit her dresses get pretty short sometimes) and she doesn't get pulled into the gossip and drama of Ali and Vienna makes her a class act to me. I really liked Ali until she turned catty over Vienna. I loved Tenley for the first couple of weeks when she was first getting acquainted but I keep waiting for her to lower her voice an octave and get out of the perky, 'Nice to meet you' phase. Corey was okay - but slow to move and announcing you're a virgin on this show is like announcing you have leprosy in an emergency room. Or like using the "friend" word the night of a rose ceremony. I mean, Jake having "absolute respect" for that whole thing means essentially, "...and good luck with that." Ashleigh was beyond embarrassing. Ella was too old and, frankly, a little too classy. Valishia - one I was hoping he'd give some more time to - was too mature. My early favorite, Sheila, was too darn pretty, I guess, knew how to dress and wear make-up, didn't drape her legs on his lap or rub his back pockets, and wasn't related to any in the production staff, apparently.

So -- okay, my FAVORITE part of the whole episode this week was the castle.

Favorite moment -- when Vienna declared that she was going to pretend Gia wasn't there and proceeded to "captivate" Jake with such stimulating and seductive conversation about herself and her insecurities that he leaned into Gia while giving Vienna his undivided attention and when Vienna finally took a breath, said, "I'm going to steal Gia for a few minutes if that's okay" and didn't wait for an answer. Followed by Gia immediately making his sentence a compound one by stating that Vienna could have the rest of her salmon. Did it even take those 2 more than 3 seconds to be on their feet and out of there?

Second best moment - hugging both girls before bed and, right in front of Vienna, clinging to Gia and whispering what a great time he'd had.

Corniest moment - "it's okay to fall."

Worst moment -- Vienna pretending to be spooked in her rehearsed foray through a candle-lit cellar and calling out to "Jake - honey." (Good thing there was a commercial break - my wretching took a few moments to get under control).

Second best worst moment -- her pathetic and excruciatingly embarrassing attempt at bedtime seduction.

Most puzzling moment - giving a rose to Vienna ANYWAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!.
I'm with Brooke - I'm exhausted trying to like Jake when I'm so mad at him so often.

Lastly -- I hate "Next week on the Bachelor." Why did I watch it? I rarely do. But, now I'm going to stew all week over what I think they tried to make me think. And if I'm wrong I'll be so mad at them and if I'm right --- I'll be so mad at them!!

Predictions? (spoiler alert if you want to avoid speculation) Gia decides to leave. Vienna is the default over-night date Jake thought he wouldn't have to have because part of why he was keeping her is so he'd have an easy elimination at this point. Tenley will be the too-perfect remaining final choice and Ali will be the next Bachelorette, which I think she's well suited for. More than for Jake's wife. We'll see if I'm right -- although they may bring someone back like they always seem to do now and it might be fair if a girl leaves early. Whatever. He may surprise us all and call Michelle when this is all over!!!

That's it for now. Everybody weigh in - I love your takes on things. Until next Monday...Lisa