All I can say is that Tenley dodged a bullet. I hope corny Jake falls flat on his face in dancing with the stars. You can bet his mother wont come to see him perform.
I swear I saw glittered dollar sign decals pasted on Vienna's eyelids every time she blinked.
Pardon me while I finish throwing up!
From Alexis:
But Kiki,
He's never had a relationship with that much "heat"! (barf) and besides, Vienna is his "baby". (barf barf barf)I'm sorry - but his family totally saw immediately what we've all seen along with the other girls all season.
I must saw I think I'll have to watch the Bachelorette now.... I loved Ali from the beginning.
Till next season :)Lexi
From Grandma:
Thanks Alexis and Kristen --
I needed something to smile about after watching last night's show -- actually after watching the entire Bachelor season! I feel as if I have been wallowing for weeks in that volcanic mud bath Jake and Vienna found to be "so romantic" and which I find sums up my feelings about their relationship -- and about the whole slimy, sleazy Bachelor Show -- including the catty "Tell All" and the disgusting "Bachelor Reunion" orgy! Ditto barf!
I hope Jake doesn't ruin my interest in Dancing With the Stars! I am not interested in watching the Bachelorette or American Idol this year but I will want to hear your critiques! Keep me on your comments list.
I am already looking forward to the next Olympic Games to begin!
Love, Mom/BonBon
From Lisa:
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Best laughs of the season!! Let's all fly Dad out to the DWTS show and have him give Jake the Flake a friendly "poke in the snot!" And THEN, show him the door by his ear....
I'm with you guys - Ali and Tenley owe Vienna a 'thank you' note. Gia owes her mother a trip to the psyche ward and Chris Harrison is owed a raise.
And please, Mom -- how can you not want to watch Jake on DWTS? I mean, his gratuitous preview of his dancing prowess last night doesn't leave you hanging on the edge for more? (How HORRIBLE was THAT?! That cheesy song with that ancient one-hit-wonder recording artist singing two feet aware from the kissing, giggling, wretch-inducing, non-couple????!! ewwwww!!!)
I can't bear the thought of watching the show anyway - Kate Goselin? Pamela Sue Anderson? Of course, nothing could be worse than that Senator from last year or the Penn & Teller magician. I'm already getting a head ache...
Oh well - let the cringe-fest begin.
PS -- Is there ANYONE out there who is even reMOTEly interested in Jason and Molly's wedding??? I think I'm having the cuticles on my toenails trimmed that night.....
Aunt Lisa, for some reason I JUST read your post from a couple weeks ago and I was dying! I wish that ABC WOULD hire you so that the finale would have been entertaining! I think if we sent them a link to this blog you could have a new job!
ReplyDeleteAna! YOU are making ME laugh.... Okay - forward them this blog. If I'm going to be catty and horrible and threaten my salvation, I just as well be paid for it, right? As long as I get to take all sisters, mothers, and neices, along with daughters, to the Caribbean for some eye-witness reporting of the last episode. Right?!
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